I believe a lot of modern men hit depression at some point. We live in a better world...this is true. We have hot water from the taps, safe beds to sleep in and delivery pizza whenever we want. It could be worse! The trouble with this protective bubble we have cocooned ourselves in, it often gets knocked out of balance by a system of rules that swings in favour of whatever the most popular judgement of the day is. You can see it in people (not just men) where it crushes someone's soul and leaves them in a downtrodden mental state.
The issue is, we as men have evolved to see this dilemma as weakness and a lot of ‘average joes’ are way too prideful to talk about it. I find it leads a few blokes to mask mental health by macho bravado or excessive behaviour... and that's just not healthy! I have suffered with depressive abysses in my life on more than one occasion and at the heart of my woes was often down to living with my issues by placing those negative thoughts just to the side of ones brain, massaged in between my career ambitions and wondering if I’m going to get laid soon. How do we put up with the creeping black hole of self-doubt or pity? Gentlemen, repeat after me ‘ye, I’m fine. all good’.
Well, that ain't good enough, mate. Nothings going to be resolved thinking like that. What helps? It's cliché but talking openly to someone who won’t judge you is really the best prescription. But, if you can’t afford a shrink or concerned your partner might think your going crazy (you're not BTW) then listening to other people tell their stories can be highly motivating to start the process of getting to grips with your woes. That’s why we love movies and the podcast by Joe Rogan, because learning how a hero triumphs through struggles can really help put some positive perspective on life's dilemmas.
Yet, still, the best to overcome those annoying demons is having a good old fashioned chat! Even when the idea of trusting someone with your concerns can be really unnerving - it's still the most therapeutic.
So, the goal for today is find a mentor, a loved one, a wise old lady, whoever and have a honest discussion about what troubles you. Once you face the darkness you can push your way through into the light. It doesn’t have to be complicated.
Jonathan, Founder of COOL CARTER.
CALM run a free, confidential and anonymous helpline as well as a webchat service, offering help, advice and information to anyone who is struggling or in crisis. Anyone can hit crisis point. We run a free and confidential helpline and webchat – 7 hours a day, 7 days a week for anyone who needs to talk about life’s problems. We support those bereaved by suicide, through the Support After Suicide Partnership (SASP).
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